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Once Again Earth is on the Line! Why is Earth on the line again?

April 19, 2009

Finally a new Star Trek movie spot that manages to make it look like every other Star Trek movie ever made, barring Star Trek II, III, V or VI. Okay well all the TNG Star Trek movies ever made. Which is probably a good thing, since audiences want the same thing with some more attitude. And I’m guessing that despite of the hype, or maybe because of all the hype, that’s exactly what JJ Abrams is going to give them.

Villain check. Villain with some sort of overly complicated plot derived from his cousin in the James Bond universe, also check. . Some sort of explosion or countdown to be stopped before it’s too late, probably also check. Earth is on the line check.

But why is earth on the line? Star Trek used to be about getting the hell away from earth and exploring space. But all the TNG movies seem to get back to earth toot sweet. ST I began all this by sending V’ger to menace Earth. Wrath of Khan left earth alone, STIII The Search for Spock quickly took us to earth, but didn’t menace it. ST IV The Voyage Home, both took us back to earth and menaced it. ST V left Earth alone but destroyed our will to live. So did ST VI The Undiscovered Country.

But it was TNG that really went compulsively James Bond with villains who kept threatening Planet Earth, good old third boulder from the yellow sun. First time around Earth was only on the villain’s path of destruction. Second time around Earth was the target. Third time around Earth got a pass. Fourth time around they decided that the third time around failed because Earth was given a pass, so evil Picard clone in Nemesis went after Earth. Again.

And this time around… EARTH IS ON THE LINE.

Damn it Jim, I wish Earth would upgrade its defense systems already and stop being on the line, so we can go explore some of those strange new worlds and seek our new life and new civilizations, that Star Trek used to be about. From a tactical standpoint, the Enterprise is a long range Starship. Throwing it into home guard mode is stupid. You don’t need a Starship for that. You don’t need quarters for hundreds of people and a ship provisioned for a five year machine just to jaunt around the Sol system. You need something big, ugly, brutish and with a lot of firepower.

But who can argue with EARTH IS ON THE LINE?

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